Everyone, no matter how beautiful on the outside, struggles with their own insecurities inside. Some of us are better at controlling it than others, and all of us have the occasional meltdown or the random down day. I am usually a rather confident person and I try not to let silly insecurities get to me. However, for the last few months I have been having some low self-esteem issues, which I have never really had before in my life. (Did you catch my post last year about one of my worst experiences with feeling insecure?) I have always had my insecurities but I feel like I have never had so many at once for so long of a time and I am starting to not feel like my happy self anymore. I am feeling alone and hopeless.
Yet, I know I am not alone in this woman-versus-self battle (or man-versus-self battle) and I know those of you reading this post are not alone either. I have decided that I will be honest with myself and my readers and share with you some of my most personal thoughts and feelings about what makes me insecure and how I try to overcome that emotion. I hope that in writing this series, I will not only begin to understand myself better and conquer this negativity, but also provide you with a sense that you certainly are not alone and perhaps help to give you hope that things can change for you.
This series will be raw and honest and most certainly embarrassing for me. My insecurities are something I have only discussed with my closest and most trusted loved ones and here I am about to publish them on the Internet, for the entire world to see. By the end of this series, you will know exactly what I worry about when I look in the mirror. But you know what? I find the idea of this experience strangely cathartic. This is who I am, good or bad, and I have always been happy with the person I am inside, no matter what the outside might look like. It is what is on the inside that counts and every time I think that to myself, I am reminded of these powerful words from one of my favorite children's books.
“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” ― Roald Dahl, The Twits