Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Insecure Me: That One Thing, Part 1

That One Thing
Everyone has things that they are insecure about.  Some insecurities might upset us more than others but everyone also has that one thing that really bothers them about the way they look.  It might be their weight, their nose, the size of their bust, thighs, arm flab, et cetera.  The list goes on for pages.  For the past twelve years, the one thing that has really made me the most insecure is my smile.  That really hurts, because I am a very happy and smiley person.
My smile before braces
 It started when I was sixteen and I went to the dentist.  I had not been there in a few years (Thanks, Mom and Dad) and the dentist was shocked when he saw two baby teeth still in my X-rays.  He referred me to the orthodontist, who informed me that my adult canine teeth were impacted and I would have to have the baby teeth surgically removed and would need at least two years of braces followed by two years of retainers to correct the problem.  Sadly, my family did not have the money to pay for the braces I needed and I certainly did not want to be walking around for most of high school in braces or retainers.  So I did not get the braces and I spent the next twelve years avoiding the dentist, terrified that they would try to convince me to be an adult with two missing front teeth and braces.  Yet I also spent the next twelve years feeling ashamed and absolutely hating my smile.

Have you ever had an experience where someone pointed out something about you that was flawed that you had never even noticed before?  I had no idea that I did not have a great smile until that day at the orthodontist but ever since that day, it has been my biggest insecurity.  I always notice when someone else has a lovely smile and straight, white teeth and I am so jealous of those people.  Why couldn’t I be one of them?  And then I thought, ‘Maybe I could…’.

Last year, I finally decided that I could not hide from the dentist or the orthodontist anymore and I got up the courage to get the braces that I need.  I was tired of hating my smile and was finally ready to take the plunge to fix it.  After all, two years is pretty short when you are an adult, right?
My smile with two missing teeth
 A month later, I had the surgery to remove the baby canine teeth and bond the impacted adult teeth.  I am currently missing my two front canine teeth and I have never felt worse about the way I look in my entire life.  When you take something about yourself that you are already insecure about and make it even more obvious, it can be rather soul crushing.


  1. You smile was fine before and it's fine now. One thing I've learned is not to trust dentists; they're out to get our money! I learned in one of my classes in university that the dental association knows how to fix teeth permanently but they purposely don't because they'll lose clients. They make more money when people have to come back for redo's. I know people who haven't seen a dentist for most of their lives and their teeth are fine. They might not be the straightest teeth but they don't have problems with them while those of us who go end up being told all sorts of things ("you should get your wisdom teeth removed" why? "to prevent problems" - I recently read an article about how wisdom teeth removal is unnecessary unless you HAVE a problem and it has risks associated with it that they don't tell you...like paralysis!) Sorry for such a long post but I think it's too bad that a pretty girl like you ended up with low self esteem for something that wasn't bad to begin with!

    1. @Zara: I've heard the same thing from lots of other people about dentists being a rip off. They told me that leaving the teeth impacted would probably rot out the teeth below them but they were there for a long time and all the teeth below are perfectly healthy so I speculate if it was true. No worries though, I've never really had low self esteem. My smile has just been the thing that bothered me the most but until the teeth came out, it didn't even bother me that much.

  2. Sweetheart, I scruitinized that smile picture and I see nothing wrong. Your smile is gorgeous! Keep smiling, and tell that dentist to shove it next time he says something to the contrary.

    1. Thanks Kay! The good thing is, no matter what my smile has ever looked like, I've always gotten lots of use out of it because I'm a happy person. :)

  3. A little hello from France !

    Looking at your pictures, I agree with those persons who say that you're a georgeous woman and I really think you don't have to worry about your smile.

    Of course perfect smiles are beautiful but, today, women want to have the same right teeth.

    I personaly think that smile with one or two unperfect teeth make the person cutest than ever as you were.

    Neverthless I can understand your wish of becoming "perfecter" and as I've always been fond of women who've got braces then you're simply wonderful :)

    Take care and I wish you to get teeth you've always dreamt of.

    Ludovic (volvobleue@hotmail.fr)

    PS : I apologize for my mistakes, I'm a mess in English...

  4. Just wanted to thank you for blogging about this!! In fact I think you may have given me the confidence to finally deal with own impacted canines. I've been avoiding braces for years...in part due to the expense, but also the fear of being a gap toothed hillbilly for 2 years. But you look beautiful even with missing teeth so agh, maybe I won't look completely awful either. At least I hope...

    1. I completely understand. At first I was really insecure but honestly, it's not that easy to tell and my left canine came in so fast I couldn't believe it. I'm still waiting on the right one but after seeing how much better my smile looks even when it's only half done, I think it's totally worth it!